Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

So, Chitty used to be an awesome grand prix racing car, traveling all over the world and winning awards.  But after an accident put her out of commission, she ended up rusting away in Mr. Coggins' yard.  Two children who are in love with the car pester him to rescue it, and after a couple calamitous shenanigans, he finally does.  Not only does it run, but it is GORGEOUS, and makes a quirky noise (chitty chitty bang bang).  They go for a drive to the beach for a picnic and are joined by Truly Scrumptious (who almost ran them over and then snitched on them for skipping school... Truly lame).  This is where things get trippy, because their father, Caractacus, starts telling a story that involves car-thieving pirates and the evil Baron Bomburst, who bares a remarkable resemblance to Captain Crunch.

The best scenes are all in the second half- where the story he was telling them becomes real!  The bad guys abduct Grandpa, who they mistake for Caractacus, the inventor.  The real Caractacus, accompanied by Truly, Jeremy, Jemima, take off to rescue him in hot pursuit.  They accidentally drive right off a cliff, so it's a good thing Chitty can fly.  They follow them to Vulgaria, a strange kingdom where the Baron gets to live like a spoiled child, while making actual children illegal.  They are captured by the "Child Catcher," who is so hot I can't think straight. (see image below :)


There are many life lessons to be learned from this film, such as:

Anything (or anyone) can be redeemed.  Just like Chitty, who through the help of Caractus is reborn shiny and new, and is pretty much the hero of the film.

From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success.  This is illustrated in a very true yet slightly disturbing song sung by a bunch of creepy old men.

The child-catcher is Satan.  No really... he is.  Just like the child-catcher dresses up and makes a lot of tempting promises to lure the children into a cage and cart them off to the dungeon, Satan disguises evil and temptation at every turn to trap us.

Just because you're married to someone doesn't mean you won't try to kill them 3 times in one musical number.  Children are illegal because the baroness hates them, and yet she's married to one.  Ironic.  I'm not sure what his big objection to her is, besides the fact that she's a blithering idiot.  She's definitely prettier than he is, and she has really nice legs.  Whatever.


Last but not least... It's good to have dreams, but you have to put them to some practical use.  Caractacus is a genius throughout the movie, but until he creates an invention that actually makes money, he is pretty much a failure.  It's not something I like to admit, being a creative person myself, but even dreams need to have purpose.